On this solemn day in Hollywood, The Big Cheese has been in a state of quiet contemplation and deep thought. Not about life & death or any of that nonsense. About the many signs that a fellow blogger is nearing a narcissistic explosion. Of course The Big Cheese is referring to Mario Lavandeira, a/k/a Perez Hilton.
In fact, Cheesy is beginning to wonder if perhaps Blackeyed Peas manager Polo Molina gave P-Dog one to many punches upside his bulbous head last Sunday night in Toronto. For there can be almost no other explanation for Peretzel’s bizarre and erratic behavior of late. Especially on the day when Michael Jackson tragically and unexpectedly met his Maker.
Lavandeira, it seems, keeps going back and forth. One minute, he is Good Perez, wishing peace and joy and love to everyone.
The next moment, he morphs into Evil Perez, spitting hatred and venom at the targets he had been coddling just moments earlier.
His sudden behavioral changes have the Rat Pack’s heads spinning faster than a dreidel on the first night of Hanukah.
Take for example his initial posting of Michael Jackson’s medical emergency.
On a picture of Jackson, Perez scrawled “Heart attack or Cold Feet?” The inference: that Jacko was feigning illness as a way of postponing his upcoming concert tour – a tour for which Jackson and his team had been tirelessly rehearsing for weeks on the Culver City Studios lot, and more recently at the Staples Center in downtown Los Angeles.
And the hand-written scrawling wasn’t the only bit of rudeness included in Perez’s posting. Under the photo, he typed:
“We knew something like this would happen!!
“Michael Jackson was taken by ambulance from his Holmby Hills home to a nearby Los Angeles hospital on Thursday afternoon!!
“Supposedly, the singer went into cardiac arrest and the paramedics had to administer CPR!!!
“His mother is even on the way to visit him!!!
“We are dubious!!
“Jacko pulled a similar stunt when he was getting ready for his big HBO special in ’95 when he ‘collapsed’ at rehearsal!
“He was dragging his heels on that just like his upcoming 50 date London residency at the O2 Arena, of which he already postponed the first few dates!!!
“Either he’s lying or making himself sick, but we’re curious to see if he’s able to go on!!!
“Get your money back, ticket holders!!!!”
That was the posting on Perez’s website as of approximately 3:00pm California time. Strangely, the “…cold feet” comment disappeared a short time later… and the posting under the photo was toned down considerably.
Meanwhile, on Twitter, at approximately 4pm (PT), the self-annointed “Queen of All Media” chided TV show Entertainment Tonight for posting a picture of Jackson being loaded into (or perhaps unloaded from) an ambulance. It is likely the last photo of Jackson before he was pronounced dead.
“Shame on you Entertainment Tonight for posting that photo on your website!” lectured Mario. “Shame on you!!!!”
This from the same twisted blogger who just a couple of weeks earlier posted explicit and unedited photos of a well known Hollywood screenwriter engaged in various sex acts with another man. Apparently, Perez didn’t find any shame in that, did he?
The Big Cheese doesn’t pretend to be anything but frank and honest when it comes to his feelings about celebrities. There are very few stars he actually likes in a no-holds-barred way. And he isn’t afraid to say so.
But unlike Mr. Hilton, he has a firm grip on morality and knows when and where to draw the line. One of those lines is laid down when a person – loved or hated – is in a potential life or death situation, as was Michael Jackson Thursday afternoon.
Another of those lines is the line separating Cheesy from the celebrities. They have their world, and he has his.
There’s a certain narcissistic naiveté about Perez Hilton. He thinks certain stars like him and want him as a part of their social circle. But what they actually want is good press. And what better way to get it than to pretend that you adore the person who controls a particular media outlet?
Does he think that an upstart pop starlet like Lady GaGa will publicly take sides with him in his ongoing battle with members of an established musical act like the Blackeyed Peas? Not likely.
Yet somehow his warped sense of self-worth has helped convince him that he’s a heroic vigilante with whom everyone wants to be best friends. Again, not likely.
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