Jon Gosselin Sex Tape to Surface?

It’s got The Big Cheese screaming “My eyes!  My eyes!!!”  And he hasn’t even seen it yet.

But just the thought that there’s a sex tape somewhere out there that features Jon Gosselin and a heretofore unidentified woman is enough to damage the optic nerve.

It’s being reported by the National Enquirer.  Now before you start pooh-poohing the source, remember that they’ve been the leaders when it comes to coverage of some pretty major scandals.  John Edwards and his mistress come to mind.

Anyway, the Enquirer says that Jon’s bodyguard Thomas Meinelt has been subpoenaed to testify in TLC’s lawsuit against Gosselin.

Stephanie Santoro, the bimbo-slash-nanny with whom Jon reportedly bumped uglies says the bodyguard told her he saw Jon snort cocaine many times, and that he’s watched the star’s secret sex tape.

The tab quotes Stephanie as saying “Tom told me that Jon was secretly videotaped having sex with a woman in Los Angeles in October, and he’s seen the tape! Tom said people close to Jon put a camera in his hotel room, and paid a girl to flirt with Jon and have sex with him.”

Eeeew.

Eeeeeeew.

And eeeeeeeeeeeeew!