UPDATE:  The kill-joys at GossipCop.com say the HollywoodLife story is not true.  As always, however, those cyber men in blue are taking the word of celebrity publicists, who we all know are notorious liars.

We’re not saying they’re lying in this particular case, but The Big Cheese is just waiting for a day when those self-appointed guardians of internet truth get busted for taking some bad PR bait, hook, line and sinker.

They do at least “cop” to the fact that the accident happened – it’s just the ambulance-to-the-hospital part that they deny.

Apparently, Cruise politely refused the offer of a ride to the hospital which was made by the responding paramedics.

The website HollywoodLife is reporting that Tom Cruise had to be taken to Cedars Sinai Hospital today after being involved in a motorcycle accident in a nearby neighborhood.

The website says it appears Cruise was injured, but not fatally.

The Rat will keep his beady little eyes on this story for you.

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Thank god!

Our fear that Access Hollywood has-been Nancy O’Dell could end up co-hosting Dancing with the Stars has been alleviated.

According to Star magazine, Brooke Burke is ABC’s choice to decorate the arm of primary host Tom Bergeron.

Brooke built her resume as the star of e!’s “Wild on…” series, all the while building her looks courtesy of then-husband Dr. Garth Fisher, a well known Beverly Hills plastic surgeon.

Brooke’s before-Garth and after-Garth photos, after the jump.

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Mr. Mystical Nonsense – or James Arthur Ray, as he’s more commonly known – keeps cranking out the crap on his Twitter account.

But it would seem that those who no longer buy into his New Age nonsense aren’t sitting by quietly as he spews his spiritual spittle into cyberspace.

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Are there no limits to what a famous-for-being-famous reality TV star will do for a little… dare we say… media “exposure?”

Judging by what Kourtney Kardashian chose to wear on one recent post-childbirth outing, there indeed are no limits.

The shot on this page is just the warm up.

See even more of the goods… after the jump.

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The Big Cheese is very concerned.

Just last December when she announced her departure from Access Hollywood, he breathed a sigh of relief that he would no longer have to hear Nancy O’Dell’s over-amped delivery of celebrity news.

Likewise, when Samantha Harris – who delivered her lines like a chihuahua on crack – announced her resignation from Dancing with the Stars, Cheesy toasted her departure with glee.

Finally, the show would be able to cast someone with understated class to accompany Tom Bergeron and quiz the dance teams after each is scored by the judges.

But, alas, the rumor mill is wreaking havoc on The Rat Pack’s hopes for a tasteful season of Dancing with the Stars, as the grapevine buzzes with word that O’Dell might actually be Harris’ DWTS replacement.

It’s going to be a long weekend in the Rat’s nest, as we all sit on pins & needles awaiting Monday’s announcement of the new co-host.

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So just days before the big premiere of the new season of Dancing with the Stars, one of the “stars” involved – Cincinnati Bengal Chad Ochocinco – goes for a jog in the park.  In the nude.

Or is he really nude at all?  The video is strategically digitized in just the right place to obscure any potentially pornographic images.

The Big Cheese suspects that under that digitization is a pair of short shorts to shelter Mr. Ochocinco’s Mr. Johnson from public view, and that this whole thing is just another way to drum up interest in DWTS.

What’s next?  A Kate Gosselin sex tape?

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GaGa Commits a Fashion Crime

March 4, 2010 at 6:49 pm

And this one’s gotta be a felony.

It’s like an Herve Leger bandage dress on steroids.

Leave it to the Lady to figure out a way to make a fashion statement using police crime scene tape.

What’s next? Jewelry made of discarded catheter tubing?

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The Big Cheese is perplexed by one of CNN host Larry King’s Twitter messages today.

According to the tweet, the King ran into Drew Carey at the airport and “we were on the same flight.”

That’s strange.

Part of King’s deal with CNN includes private jet travel wherever he goes.

He even flew from Van Nuys to Santa Barbara last year for a broadcast from Neverland Ranch, a trip that only takes 90 minutes by car for chrissake!

The rat’s trying to figure out what today’s tweet means.

Have Larry’s private jet privileges been yanked by CNN brass?  Or perhaps they’re insisting that Larry and his high-profile colleagues “jet-pool” with other celebrities when possible?

Or – God forbid! – has the King been forced to fly commercial with the unwashed masses?

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The Big Cheese is building a great deal of love and respect for New Age guru James Ray’s post-prison marketing and spin abilities.

He’s mastered the art of using Twitter in the same way the bogus wizard of Oz used the giant green curtain to keep people from discovering that he was nothing more than an insecure little midget with no supernatural powers at all.

For a complete rundown of Ray’s sometimes-cryptic, always self-serving tweets, click here.  Be prepared to be both mystified and amused.

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Dr. Drew’s Delusional Stalker Busted

March 4, 2010 at 1:48 pm

The Rat has heard of dental implants… but genital implants?

That’s what Dr. Drew Pinsky’s (alleged) stalker claimed the doc had done to him, in an effort to communicate with the (allegedly) deranged man.

Charles Pearson was apprehended by cops for threatening – among other things – to kill Dr. Drew and his family and feed them to his wife.

No mention of fava beans and a nice chianti.

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